Cupcakes, lasagna and sleeping in your car

Our weekend was good; very very busy. Our friend Andrea’s baby shower was Saturday and since hubby had hockey, had to take Mela. It was fun but a lot of work. Basically spent the whole time either picking her up and reassuring her (“Oh my GOD, someone dare LOOK at you?!”) or running after her. Not so much fun/relaxing as the shower I went to last weekend without a little monkey on my hands. Great to socialize (i.e. eat delicious cupcakes) and cute to see her with the other babies, of course.

I was SO exhausted by the time I got home, though, I ended up reclining my seat in the car (Mela was asleep in the car seat) and got a bit of shut-eye! I knew that if I moved her, she’d wake up and I desperately needed a rest. This is what motherhood + pregnancy does to you = you find yourself sleeping in your car on the street on a Saturday afternoon.

Then yesterday, we had a bulk cooking day at my friend Sarah’s catering kitchen. I was thinking of doing something like this with friends anyway (e.g. SuperWorks) and then Sarah volunteered her facilities and wholesale suppliers. Super fun!

In the end, each person went home with a big pan of lasagna, a big container of pasta sauce, three containers of chicken curry (just add rice), a freezer bag of stirfry seasoning (ginger, garlic, jalapeños, etc) and a freezer bag of ready-to-cook chocolate chip cookies. And we made a stir-fry and ate it for dinner. It ended up being ridiculously inexpensive and we had a ton of fun. The best part was that we all got to chat and catch up and Sarah gave us all kinds of cooking tips throughout the process. It was awesome.

Missed the little monkey a bit though – Chris had her on the front porch when I drove away and when I leaned out the window and said, “Bye bye!”, she looked panic stricken and started to cry. I almost ditched the whole thing and stayed home. I think I have Stockholm syndrome (“in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker”).

Week ahead looks long and uneventful. At least I’ll be home with her on Friday, since Maria has an exam.

Hard-at-work cooks:

The fruits of our labour: yummy, yummy pasta sauce:

The mohawked, bunny-toothed beast:

Baby bugs, skittles, and my wet jeans

Well, we had our first trip to Emerg with a sick baby last night. I think it’s kind of like a right of passage for new parents; it’s like introducing solids, seeing your baby smile or changing your first smelly diaper.

It came totally out of nowhere – Maria called me yesterday afternoon to say that Mela felt a little warm and seemed a bit out of sorts but it didn’t seem like she was sick at that point. By the time I got home, though, she was hot to the touch and had a temperature (100.9 F).

The thing that really concerned me (because the books had told me so) was that Mela wasn’t acting like herself. She was just lying weakly in my arms and couldn’t even sit up. When we got home, I gave her a bottle and we laid on the couch together. It was so sad; she could only muster the strength to make a few weak grabs at the pear I was eating. I think that if she’d been in a room full of laptops, she wouldn’t even have cared.

So by the time Chris got home from work, I was getting a bit worried and we called TeleHealth. See, TeleHealth is a great idea in theory (can call and talk to a registered nurse, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) but the whole thing sucks in practice. We waited on hold for 47 minutes and by the time we actually got to talk to someone (which really only even happened once we told the receptionist that we were calling because of a feverish baby and she bumped us up), Mela’s cheeks were burning, she was refusing liquids and her temp was 102.7.

The nurse asked a million, we-have-to-cover-our-butt questions. The thing that seemed most concerning was Mela’s breathing: it was labored (I could hear it and see her little chest moving up and down) and when I counted the number of breaths per 15 seconds, the nurse said it was “very high for a baby her age.” So they said that we should go immediately to the emergency room of our local hospital.

Now, I’ve been to Emerg before. I know the pain of waiting for hours in Emerg. And I’m not a nervous Nelly who rushes her kid to the hospital every time they cough – I know that babies have fevers and that there’s usually nothing you can really do. So I asked if we could go instead to the local after-hours children’s clinic instead and the nurse said, “We’re recommending that you go somewhere that they have diagnostic equipment and the capacity to assist her breathing if necessary.” Which really, I don’t think you should ever say to a mom, who then immediately pictures her baby strapped to a hospital gurney and hooked up to a respirator.

So I burst into tears and then Chris and I ran around and grabbed our stuff and headed out the door (just as the timer rang in the kitchen to say that our dinner was ready – boo). All the way to the hospital, Chris was quiet, Mela was quiet and I wouldn’t shut up. How many times do you brightly chirp, “You know, I’m not worried at all!” before you realize that maybe it’s a sign you actually are quite worried?

In the triage, the nurse on duty gave us a healthy dose of judgment for our parenting (“what do you mean, you don’t give her juice?”) and for following TeleHealth’s advice (“yeah, they send EVERYBODY in here”). She also gave us a nice little ball of false hope re: the wait time (“there’s only one child ahead of you and we have four beds for children, so it shouldn’t take long”).

The good news is that we only had to wait in the tiny, cramped pediatric waiting room for about 1/2 an hour, with a burning baby laying limply in my arms, whimpering occasionally. The bad news is that we then had to wait in the equally tiny hospital room for almost three hours, with no apparent activity or progress (I swear, we didn’t see anyone who looked like a doctor the entire time). The only health professional we saw was an RN who rushed in the room, gave her some liquid Tylenol and then made us feel bad (“First time parents? Yeah, you can tell.”). During this time, we existed on nothing but bottled water, Skittles and a snack bag of pretzels. We could’ve had sandwiches of “sweet veal” or “peameal and cheese” from the vending machine but both deeply troubled me.

I kept trying to look on the bright side, which was that it would’ve been worse if I was 8 or 9 months pregnant, since we had to hold Mela constantly and after the first hour, my back was numb. Or we could have a newborn baby to deal with, too. And the little room gave us a bit of privacy, which was nice when Mela suddenly vomited 3 gallons of formula and pear bits all over my sweater and jeans. There’s nothing like waiting in a hospital, with a sick baby, starving to death, and being soaked to the bone with sticky puke. We smelled great.

Of course, by the time doctor finally came, the Tylenol had done its work, the fever was down and Mela was chatting happily with her dolly. By the way, if you’re ever in that situation, puking moved us up the line, apparently – I wish she’d done it earlier! The doc said stuff we already knew (e.g. probably just viral, feed her lots of liquids, etc) and we were finally free.

We got home around 1 a.m., gave the little puker a bath and a bottle and put her to bed. We were so tired, we couldn’t even sing “Wheels on the Bus” to her when we were drying her off … I just kept trailing off mid-verse into silence while she cried. We slowly ate our chewy chicken fingers and went to bed ourselves.

She slept all night (I learned from the last time that she really does sleep best in her own bed) and while she’s still a bit out of sorts today, the fever is gone and she even ate a bit of food (and gave me some spunky sass when I told her she couldn’t touch something!).

I don’t really feel like we learned anything from this experience … I already knew that you DO NOT go to Emerg unless you’re guaranteed to jump the line (e.g. if you have a limb spurting blood) but once Telehealth said that she was in danger, we really had no choice. Maybe the message here is never call Telehealth, just go to the (fast) kids clinic if you’re worried. And always pack tasty food. And a change of clothes. .

Glad that she seems so much better today. No idea where she picked up the bug.

Side note: There are few things in life as depressing for a mother as having a nurse ask you a question about your child (e.g. “how many wet diapers did she have today?”) and having to answer, “I don’t know, I’d have to ask the nanny.”

Misc Photos of the Week

Here are some highlights from the past week. Click on a photo for a large version:

So I set her down for a second and by the time I turned around, she’d crawled over to the exersaucer, pulled out a bag I’d hidden there, and somehow in the process, ditched her pants:

Playing with Nuala (who apparently feels right at home in Mela’s toy basket). Yes, Mela’s brushing her teeth:
I’m so grown up, I can stand at the coffee table (no hands) and drink my bottle!

Messy, messy baby (and lovin it):

I love watching basketball with Dad!!! (anything’s better than going to bed)

Things You Never Knew the Female Body Could Do

Went for a long walk on the weekend and by the end of it, suddenly felt a sharp, stabbing pain right in the girl parts. I was only a few blocks from home but had to kind of hobble the rest of the way.

Was mildly concerned, since although I felt similar things last time, it wasn’t until I was pretty much 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. Last time, I just chalked it up to “weird things that you feel when you’re pregnant” but I don’t want to go through four months of mild pain this time! So yesterday I asked the midwife about it and she said that this is what sometimes happens with your second, and subsequent, babies. Things just aren’t the same as they used to be and you pay the price.

Apparently, the pelvis is made up of four separate parts, including the two big hip bones (makes sense, although I always thought of the pelvis as one big oval), and where the hip bones meet in the front is called the “symphysis pubis”. This is basically a gap (4-5 mm wide) that is held together by cartilage; during pregnancy, the cartilage loosens and a width of up to 9mm between the two bones is normal. (Which, really, we should all be thankful for, since you want as much room for baby passage as possible!)

You can see then how, though, for some people, this gap causes trouble – anywhere from mild pain (what I felt) to severe (feels like your pelvic bones are grinding together – arghh!). “The main symptoms are pain in your pubic area, groin, the inside of your thighs and sometimes in your lower back and hips. This kind of pain is more common for women having their second or subsequent baby.“ The midwife said that once things get stretched out once, they stretch out faster each time after that. Yeah, I’ve noticed my belly!

The treatments are things like wearing a brace, seeing a physiotherapist or chiropractor and sometimes, using crutches! Apparently some women are quite debilitated by this. For the average person like me though, it’s just annoying and you just have to try to watch some of the activities that you do.

Since I’d never heard of this before (and I’m like, pregnancy/baby obsessed!), thought I’d share. Who knew that your body could do this?!

I like how in the description below, they say that you should avoid picking up and carrying your toddler. Yeah, right! Try to tell that to my 11 month old!

For women having their second or subsequent pregnancy (and the sibling is a toddler), try to avoid lifting and carrying them as much as possible. The movements involved when lifting and the continued carrying can cause, or inflame, pain in the Symphysis Pubis. If you need to pick up or carry your toddler, be aware of your posture. You can look at correct lifting and posture techniques in backache during pregnancy.

18 and counting …

18 weeks to go.

I’m back at work full-time, as of this week. Would it be unprofessional, do you think, if I have a big number at my desk, counting down the weeks left to go? I’m kind of tempted.

The thing is, I’m not even that upset to be working right now. Amelia seems reasonably happy when I leave in the mornings and although she’s glad to see me when I return, doesn’t seem that traumatized.

Work (so far) is actually a nice change from the monotonous routine of home. I get to be productive in a concrete way (can see the physical results of my efforts, as opposed to the never-ending cycle of trying to clean sweet potato out of a baby’s nose), wear nice clothes, eat leisurely meals and chat with interesting people. Every time I start to get stressed by the politics or the bureaucracy, I just remind myself that it’s only for 4 months.

The downside (other than not kissing Mela all day) is the stress of getting out the door in the morning, lack of exercise, ironing (I think I went an entire year without ironing!) and trying to plan/cook healthy meals but once we get into the routine, I’m sure it will be better.

I think the best part so far is the luxury of going to the bathroom alone, whenever I want. It’s great to not have someone else in the room (staring at you!) or to try to schedule biological functions around nap times.

What can I say, I like the simple things in life.

Sutton Pops!

We finally took some belly shots of baby #2 at 20 weeks. Just because we haven’t taken them every week like we did last time, doesn’t mean we’re any less excited this time. Right? Right?!!!

Now that the belly has popped out, it’s officially getting harder to:

• Bend over, pick up my baby and carry her up the stairs
• Bend over and pick things up, period
• Walk up the stairs, period

Funny, I remember last time that at the end of pregnancy I was worried I would miss it, since it was so “great.” This time, all I can see ahead are the inconveniences (e.g. never having clothes that fit, not being able to get out of a car gracefully, being unable to dry my legs after a shower, etc). I’m still waiting for the “great” part to kick in … was it literally the kicking part that I loved so much? I’ve already forgotten.

Actually, some recent developments at work this week made me, for once, wildly glad that I’m pregnant right now, if only because it means I’m out of there in July. This is the most excited to be pregnant that I’ve been so far! Speaking of which, I do hope that over the next couple of months, we get some more real excitement going for this little one. I’m concerned that August will arrive with little fanfare or anticipation, given that we:

• don’t have any more ultrasounds this time (won’t see him/her again),
• don’t know the gender,
• are going to be very busy working and enjoying Mela, and
• won’t be going through any of the preparations or celebrations (e.g. researching baby products, registering, baby shower, etc) that we did last time.

I haven’t really come up with any ideas for how to “celebrate” this pregnancy yet (e.g. belly cast might just be depressing) – let me know if you have any ideas. Because really, second babies deserve just as much excitement. I should know!

Anyway, here are the two belly shots. For compare/contrast purposes, I’ve included the pics from the same point last time. I think the belly is a bit bigger than this point last time, as well as certain features, ahem, that never went back to normal.

Mela at 20 weeks:

Sutton at 20 weeks:
Mela at 21 weeks:
Sutton at 20 weeks:

Hop, hop, cheep, cheep

Happy Easter, everyone! I hope that you had a great long weekend.

We had a very relaxing time – we took it easy on Friday (tried to take the sled to the park but it was a bust: the noise of the plastic on the snow just made Mela cry). On Saturday, we went to Lindsay to see the ON Grandparents and spent the night.

Not much to report … Mela loved having a “new” place to explore (hasn’t been there since she could crawl and pull up), we ate lots of good food (and some obligatory chocolate) and chatted with family.

In developmental news, Mela ate more finger food than baby food puree over the weekend; she kind of turned the corner from loving the smooth puree to loving to feed herself. Definitely more messy and time consuming but more fun, since she can eat a lot of table food now (had some rice and beans Saturday night!).

This is my last maternity leave week. I work Wednesday and Thursday and then I’m back full-time next Monday. Hard to believe. It makes me too sad when I think about it so I’m just not thinking about it (or at least trying not to). I can’t imagine how it’s going to work – I NEED these days at home for cleaning, laundry, groceries, meals, etc, let alone the fact that I need the odd nap these days (get tired pretty easily sometimes). I keep telling myself that it’ll fly by, which hopefully it will.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy every second of this last week!

Here are some Easter pics:

Playing with Grandma:
Opening presents with Mom:
Posing for pictures in her Easter dress (just barely):

Pictures by Maria

The girls this week:

Tick Tock

Status report: 2 hours to go, first day back to work…

So far I’ve chatted with some colleagues, eaten an expensive, mediocre lunch, pigged out on a decadent chocolate muffin (SO good but now have throbbing sugar headache) and gave my dad the address to Matt and Lisa’s so that he can pop in and see Amelia (how unfair that he gets to see her right now and I don’t?!). Have done some token first day tasks, like setting computer preferences (e.g. gotta have Firefox) and learning how to use our new phone voicemail (when someone leaves you a message, it sends you an email with the recording attached. Weird.).

The positives so far include:

• Drank a coffee this morning without a little monkey at my side, trying to grab my cup.
• Am able to check email, read news and take care of personal business online without little fingers reaching around the side of the monitor and slapping at the keys. Expect a much higher volume of email from me in the future.
• I’ve had more social interaction in the past 5 hours than in the past five days.
• I’m not stuck in the kitchen trying to convince an 11 month old of the succulent tastiness of broccoli right now. Or watching her rub said broccoli through her hair just to get a reaction. Or trying to pick little broccoli florets out of baby’s hair while she shrieks and bats at my hands.

Negatives:

• Have had more calories in the past five hours than in the past five days (not really but that chocolate muffin was naughty). I can definitely see the danger of plying myself with food to make up for the fact that I have to be at work.
• Very hard to accomplish any real work. Part of the problem is that I don’t actually have any work to do. But still, I should be sharpening pencils, reading long, boring reports and setting up meetings instead of writing on this blog and gazing dolefully at desktop picture of Mela. (Choosing a picture took a good chunk of time; I went with this one but am thinking of switching to this one).
• Staying in one building all day, breathing recycled air, feels claustrophobic in a way my living room never does. And the beautiful window view is proving to be a little hard on the eyes (backlit monitor).
• Can’t hug the baby right now. Enough said.

The good news is that starting in a week and a half, my Outlook calendar will display my last day of work (shows four months at a time), which means that every day when I look at my calendar, I’ll be able to see the end in sight.

Small thing but makes a difference.

One hour and 55 minutes to go …

It was a dark and stormy day …

It’s raining here today. My high school English teacher would call this “pathetic fallacy” – when the weather reflects the mood of a character. My mood right now is definitely dark.

Dropped Amelia off at Lisa and Matt’s today for her first full day with the nanny. The morning went quite smoothly, actually – Chris and I figured out a schedule ahead of time and everything went like clockwork getting out the door (although I’ll have to build in extra time for packing a lunch, since my work cafeteria charges a fortune for a small salad).

Once we got to Matt and Lisa’s, Amelia was at ease right away, crawling around the floor with Nuala and looking for new trouble to get into. We spent the afternoon there yesterday, actually and I think it helped to acclimatize her a bit more to both Maria and the new place. She and Nuala are pretty adorable together – I’ll have to take a video to capture the cuteness of the two of them (e.g. “talking” to each other).

Leaving their place was traumatic for me, though. I snuck out when Mela had her back turned and then I had a terrible drive to work, crying the whole way. It’s amazing I didn’t have an accident, considering the visibility of tears + rain. For some reason, I didn’t think it was going to be that hard today, since I’ve left her for afternoons before and it’s only two days this week. I just kept picturing her, though, turning around and realizing I was gone and then sitting alone on the floor, crying inconsolably. It’s funny; it’s the oldest story in the book (i.e. mom is sad to leave her baby and go back to work) but it is very new to me. I’m guessing that the pregnancy hormones aren’t helping matters, either. Needless to say, I haven’t been able to get very much work done so far.

I did just call to give Maria my new work number, actually, and she said that Amelia was fine and wasn’t upset at all that I’d left. She said she cried a bit at nap time, which is normal. That makes me feel better, although I’m still pretty wrecked inside. Every time I think about it, my eyes blur up. It’s taking all my energy not to jump into my car and race home to get her right now!

Being back at work is interesting … it’s like I never left, in a way. I am at a different desk now (with a window!) which helps change things a bit, but otherwise, it’s like I’m in a parallel universe where I never had a baby. Everything is just as I left it, even some projects that were supposed to launch a year ago! Except now I just don’t care passionately about things like website usability, CMS’s or or achieving the buy-in of sensitive stakeholders. It all seems like a high-stress game that people have become too caught up in (e.g. I have four email messages already that are “high priority” and “urgent!”). The problem is, if I don’t make myself care more, I’ll never be able to last the paltry four months I’m back!

Actually, it’s kind of like I’ve gone back in time and still haven’t had the baby yet, since I’m sitting here wearing maternity pants and just felt a familiar little flutter of movement in my belly!

Speaking of the new baby, by the way, I think there was some kind of growth spurt this week; the last couple of days, I’ve kept falling into bed exhausted for long naps and there is a bump showing now that wasn’t there before. I’ll have Chris take a pic and post it – funny that we haven’t taken a single belly shot yet. Still can’t believe we’re not going to know the gender; I’m still in shock.

Anyway, the first day is almost half over now and isn’t the first day always the hardest? I’m sure that in a couple of weeks, it will all be routine. And in my heart, I know that this isn’t nearly as hard on Mela as it is on me. In some ways, she’s better off with the new situation (playmate her own age, lots of stimulating outdoor activities all day) than just being with me in our living room.

Just can’t wait until 4:30 pm …